Perspective Explains Everything

Once Super Bowl XLIV ends, like a left turn on the first lap of the Daytona 500, the American sports world will quickly turn its attention to endeavors past the NFL.

With the speed of an Olympic downhill skier or an NHL slapshot, the attention of the fan will leap like any NBA player dunking on a fast break, or one of three WNBA players who might dunk; while the non-stop hype of March Madness, baseball spring training, Manny Pacquiao’s next victim in the ring, or any random scandal that may appear at any time can take up valuable cranium space that could otherwise be used to follow the curling, billiards, bowling, motorcycle racing, horse racing, or pig racing like I once saw at the county fair.

Football is simple. It happens every Sunday in the fall – once a week and it ends in a spectacle that we all celebrate as if one of our national heroes is being commemorated. This weekend, it’s Peyton Manning. Are you even paying attention?

Wait! Before you change the channel, watch this show!

Undercover Newsstand is the story of crazy man who can only buy a newspaper, although he wants other things.

STOCK DERIVATIVE

Scott Brown is elected Senator in Massachusetts

GIFT CERTIFICATE

DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHAINSAW?

I WANT TO BUY AND BUY AND BUY!

DO YOU WANT TO BUY A NEWSPAPER?

There was a funeral in my small town for a Marine who was killed in Afghanistan. I saw the motorcyclists wearing leathers lined up outside the church door holding a series of American flags and I drove by as car after car of mourners rolled into the church parking lot.

And as I drove on about my daily business, I was struck by how the workings of an angry world and a war taking place on the other side of the planet can settle into my little town.

But there it was, as real as if someone’s grandma had passed. As real as the news. As real as that familiar church parking lot. Then just as I drove by, the complicated, sad, and familiar reasons of why there was a funeral in that that local church parking lot in my little town hit me.

Later, I was out walking by myself and I saw a great blue heron showing off as he flew around a salt marsh for only me to see. The air was crisp, the sky was brilliant and clear, the leaves had an orange last-burst-of-life hue, and I felt in awe, lucky to be alive – thrilled to live in a place where I could see what I was seeing. With wings spread, the heron glided to a tree top and settled in to look at the vista.

This health care debate is the best thing that ever happened to my health. Every day, I think of going for a run or maybe eating carrots but instead I debate health care because I’ve discovered, like Congress, that arguing is the best way to care for my health.

It doesn’t really matter who I debate or what side I take as long as I don’t compromise. Here’s how I do it: I simply find someone with an opinion and then I pick the other side and then we debate. I argue, the other person argues. Sometimes we both scream at each other and those are the moments when I feel the healthiest. It’s easy. You can do it too.

It’s especially healthy to argue when you are among an entire group where you can chant and stuff, almost like aerobics or yoga. It’s good for the cardiovascular system. Heck, it’s a stress test as well as a lung exercise. And if you want, you can always shout out something on your own. For instance, the sense of calm that comes over my body just before I shout two sentences filled with expletives for a crowd full of children and old people to hear is something I wish everyone had the chance to experience.

I hope this continues. I’ve never felt better, dammit!