"We, The Media Elite, recently received a little newsflash (See #2) from Sarah Palin and it has made us rethink our entire focus in life. We can't apologize enough, but we're sure going to try."

The Media Elite thanked Palin for the little newsflash and then announced it was so stung by recent Republican attacks that it is selling its "good opinion" - as defined by the Official Sarah Palin Dictionary - on eBay.

Put up for sale next to the executive jet for the state of Alaska, the good opinion has not fielded any substantial bids because, according to Wall Street analysts, Palin declared it to be of such low value.

The Media Elite, nevertheless, has made clear that it plans to rid itself of the burden.

It is common knowledge that The Media Elite is a secret organization. Everyone knows that The Media Elite is just like the CIA but without patriotism. The Media Elite hates America. That's why it is always asking questions.

But after receiving the little newsflash from Governor Palin of the cosmopolitan state of Alaska, the Media Elite offered this statement: "Our bad."

The Media Elite, AKA The Eastern Elite Media, then offered an apology for any inquisitiveness and promised that if it has questions in the future it would instead go moose hunting. Then it wrote a five-part series, that no one read, about moose.

"How dare we ask questions of those in power or those who seek power?" said the first and final Press Release ever put out by The Media Elite.

"We hereby apologize for being nattering nabobs of negativism. Never again will we natter negativism in a nabobulous way! And you can quote us - yes, that means you, FOX News - the only news station left in America. You are not elite."

Meanwhile, according to the Press Release, The New York Times will continue to publish as always but it will simply print transcripts of the Rush Limbaugh Show - because the entire staff of the newspaper will be off learning about moose.

"We now intend to be respectful and deferential, just as we were before the Iraq War started. Again, we would like to thank Governor Palin for putting us in our place. This was our first good scolding since Donald Rumsfeld left office. And yes, it hurt so good."

The Media Elite then stated, "We hate ourselves the same as you do."

But this was disputed by the psychologist for The Media Elite, who claimed that The Media Elite actually hates itself even more than you do. This psychologist analyzing The Media Elite, coincidentally, goes by the name of The Media Elite.

This new development was met by skepticism from the GOP. The Media Elite applauded that skepticism and then assured Republicans that it, The Media Elite, is finished asking questions.

The Press Release concluded, "Skeptical smart people are the last thing this country needs."

Footnote #1 -
"So until at which point in time we feel like the news media is going to treat her with some level of respect and deference, I think it would be foolhardy to put her out into that kind of environment."
Rick Davis, McCain Campaign Manager
Fox News Sunday, Sept 7, 2008

Footnote #2 -
"Here's a little news flash for those reporters and commentators: I'm not going to Washington to seek their good opinion. I'm going to Washington to serve the people of this great country."
Sarah Palin
GOP Convention, Sept 3, 2008

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